I was perusing cnn.com today and I came across this story. There are so many things I want to say about this, I'm afraid it's all going to come out a jumbled mess. Oh well, you'll deal.
1. Anyone who thinks they can walk ACROSS the country in six months has to be out of his/her mind.
2. He's ranting and raving about how he needs to take control of and change his life. Yet, on this trek, he's been eating fast food. I can see how eating fast food would help with weight loss...oh, wait, no I can't.
3. It's amazing to me that he's only lost 105 pounds on this year-long trek. Oh wait, no I'm not, see #2 above.
4. "He says he's gone through 15 pair of shoes, 12 pairs of pants, three shirts, 30 pairs of socks and his own sanity -- twice."
a. I can get the shoes and pants, but only THREE shirts. Methinks that's a tad on the nasty size.
b. I'm not sure he ever had his sanity. Most people would get a gym membership and hop on the treadmill, but no, he decides to trek across the United States.
5. He speaks of taking control of his life, but he left his family behind in California. I think it's safe to assume that he's not working right now, so who is helping to support his family?
In the article it mentions his website. So I went, expecting a great site, all about his motivation and commitment to a healthy lifestyle. I clicked on the link that takes you to the page where he says why he's doing this.
My Name is Steve Vaught, (born Stephen James Liller in Youngstown, Ohio). I am a 39 year old, happily married father of two great kids and I have a pretty good life here in Southern California. You would think that I would be happy because of these things, but I am not. I am not happy because I am fat and being fat makes every day unhappy.
I don't actually think that he's not happy because he's fat. Maybe he just doesn't know how to value the things he does have.
I am going to walk across the United states from San Diego to NYC to lose weight and regain my life!
Treadmill?
Being fat is physically and emotionally painful. It diminishes the quality of the good things in life and it will ultimately bring about an early demise. So being overweight darkens every good thing that you achieve in your life and even prevents some things from happening at all.
For all of you who read this and don't know, I am a fatty. I wasn't always fat, but I am now. And what this guy is saying, just isn't true. I've celebrated many happy days without thinking, "God, this would be so much better if I weren't a fatty!" I graduated from college and was accepted to law school while being a fatty. Nowhere on any application has it asked me, "Are you a fatty? (If so, cease filling out this application as you will not be admitted.)"
For the last 15 years I have been slowly gaining weight and it seems that whatever I do, it just spirals ever upward.
Put down the cupcake! Say "Yes" to the salad bar and "No" to the fries!
Socially being fat is hard to deal with because I feel that am looked down upon by people even when they are not doing so maliciously. It may be human nature. You know, "survival of the fittest". Also, I feel as though I am being taken advantage of by companies and people that want fat people to buy their latest "miracle pill" or prepackaged food that will help me lose the weight.
The big problem here is the intelligence factor. I am fat, but I do not feel that I'm being taken advantage of with miracle pills. I know they're crap and I move on. I personally think that those pills are marketed to anorexic girls who always think they're fat when what they actually are doing is giving Calista Flockhart a run for her money for "Human Skeleton of the Year."
So, after consulting the family and getting their blessing I have made the decision to stop this merry go round and dedicate myself to losing the extra weight. I have an addiction and there needs to be dedication and sacrifice to cure addictions. If I had a drug or alcohol addiction I would go to rehab. Well, what I have in mind is rehab for the fat guy.
I'm assuming his addiction is food. Perhaps he should have tried getting his jaw wired shut. Mighty hard to shovel food in your mouth if you can't open it.
I am going to take six months out of my life and walk across the United States from San Diego to NYC.
Ah yes, the six months that turned into over a year. How he thought he could do it in six months in the first place is beyond me.
My main purpose in undertaking this journey is losing weight. More importantly though, I need to change the behaviors that have allowed me to be in this situation in the first place. I know that to permanently lose this weight I must learn to be more responsible to myself.
Obviously, eating fast food the whole way across the country is EXACTLY the way to do that. Well done, Fat Man. Perhaps, since this got to be a huge thing, he could have stopped off at people's homes, not slept in a tent, and eaten a real meal every now and then.
Nuts you say? Well, maybe.
No "maybe" about it.
But how nutty is spending a fortune on miracle weight loss drugs or fad diets that never seem to have lasting results or dangerous surgeries that cost about the same as a luxury car?
Surgery isn't the only way to not be a fat ass anymore.
What about the fact that only 3% of weight loss attempts are permanently successful?
So, somehow him walking across the country makes his weight loss more likely to succeed?
What about the anxiety, depression and pain involved in everyday activities when you are fat?
He's going to give my fat ass anxiety if he keeps this up!
I donÂ’t want to miss out on birthdays, graduation, marriages and grandkids because I chose not to take my life back.
I'm interested in knowing why he's missing out on this stuff. My family welcomes my rotundity to family functions still. I also have a feeling that they still will, whether I want to go or not.
I am going to sacrifice some time out of my regular life to gain 30- 40 years of a better, leaner, healthier and happier life.
I doubt he'll be happy now if he wasn't happy before.
So considering all of that, I would be nuts not to do this.
Do I even need to comment?
Losing the weight will be the easy part. I plan to keep the weight off in the future by maintaining a proper diet and level of activity needed, as well as remembering how easy it is to gain weight and difficult to lose it.
Has losing the weight really been the easy part? He still needs to lose a lot more before he's really considered healthy, and what level of activity compares to walking across the country?
I think this man wasted a year of his life that he could have spent with his family. He could have gone walking around his neighborhood, changed his diet, and developed a healthier and more positive attitude on life, and all at home.
I just hope he's not walking back.
Monday, July 30, 2012
YOU can't possibly know
I'm single, as in never-been-married single. My longest relationship was about 6 months, and I lived with him for about 4 months of it. (Yes, I do have questionable judgment.) I'm so awesome I've moved back in with my parents until I figure out what the hell I'm doing with my life. My credit score could use some help. I couldn't stop going to school, so now I have two advanced degrees I'd rather not have. I don't have kids - I've never even been pregnant (except that time by the aliens, but that soooooooo doesn't count).
So, even though I've obviously had no real, useful experiences in my life, I am still able to offer helpful and constructive advice/opinions sometimes. Yes, you heard me right. Just because I haven't done X, Y, or Z does not mean I'm fucking useless.
For example...
When I was in law school, I had a roommate who insisted that it was necessary to lie to your boyfriend to get him to understand the situation. NECESSARY, she said. I looked at her like she'd lost her mind and then asked something along the lines of, "Wouldn't it be better just to tell him how you really feel?" The way she looked at me you'd think I'd grown a second head. Rather than explain to me what the fuck she meant by that and how lying could ever HELP a situation, she looked me straight in the eye and said, "You'd understand if you'd been in a long-term relationship." I said, "If lying is what it takes to have a successful long-term relationship, I think I'll pass," and I walked away.
Now, at the time it was true that I'd never been in a long-term relationship, but I don't think I've ever been in a situation where lying to someone you really care about actually SOLVED anything. We're pretty well-resolved AGAINST lying in fact. Most of the time we run with the idea that truth and honesty serve as the basis for a successful relationship. Since that time, I have been in a long-term relationship and I can say this, lying did NOT help that situation. Shockingly, it made things much worse.
Another example? Don't mind if I do...
I have a very good friend to whom I turn regularly for advice. I may occasionally be prone to emotional fits and outbursts and I call him when I need to get my head screwed back on the right way. I have an immense amount of respect for his ability to step back from a situation, process it while detached, and come back with a solid conclusion. Apparently not all of his friends have the same idea about him...
A good friend of his was involved in a relationship that was a good time, but the durability of the relationship was a touch questionable. All of a sudden, the guy decides to move in with his girlfriend of 2 months or so. My friend was like, "Um, dude, not smart." His friend retorts, "Well, you've never lived with anyone, so you're not exactly qualified to comment on this." (Okay, I'm making that up, but it went something like that.) In an unsurprising turn of events, they ended up breaking up and he moved out a few months later. Didn't see that one coming...
Something not relationship-related? Okay!
I am the second oldest of 12 cousins. I have spent more time than I would like babysitting my evil shit cousins (okay, they were awful as small ones, better now). I've watched them for extended periods, when they were sick and when they were healthy, and at a range of ages. No, I don't know what it's like to go for days on end with very little sleep and then to have to watch the little one as the insanity sets it. But I DO have some experience with kid moodswings, potential causes of illness, etc.
At this point, I'm one of the few people I know who is childless. For some reason I can't seem to get anyone to fertilize my lady garden (perhaps because I say shit like that...). Because of this, I have to watch myself when my friends talk to me about their kids. I have heard, on more than one occasion and from more than one friend, "I HATE it when people try to tell me how to raise my kid. I know better than anyone what's going on with my kid!"
I never try to tell anyone how to raise their kid. All kids are different, every family dynamic is different, and families have different financial means. Sometimes though, I say useful things. Like when my friend's kid was running a low fever and was cranky as all get out and wouldn't eat much. I suggested, as quietly as possible, that the kid might be teething. Sure enough, the little bugger was cutting some teeth. Made my friend feel a lot better that her kid wasn't dying or suffering too immensely.
The Problem?
Part of the problem is that we chuck our good friend Common Sense out the window when we get emotionally wrapped up in something. Moving in with someone after a couple months? NEVER REALLY BRILLIANT. I can't think of a single person I know where that's worked out well. And we know that if we saw someone else doing it, we would be like, "Well, that shit isn't going to work," though we happily traipse down that path. Lying is RARELY a good idea. (Yes, Mom, I did love those pajamas...). Usually you end up having to explain yourself later and you break the trust you've worked so hard to create.
Some of it is that we don't want to admit that we done fucked up real bad. "You can't possibly know what this is like because you haven't done it" is just a defense mechanism. We don't want to be WRONG, to have to admit that we went down the wrong street. The words our friends say find their way to our fear. If we weren't afraid, we'd be able to hear what someone else is saying without flipping our shit over it. We'd thank them for their words and decide whether to act on their advice, comfortable in the choices we made.
The reality of it is that no one can live anyone else's life and we never really know what's going on for someone else. Every person is different - their experiences, intellectual and emotional capabilities, manner of processing things - all of it. If we believed that people could never offer advice because they aren't US, we'd miss out on vast amounts of wisdom from people we respect and who could help us. You never know, that piece of advice could change your world.
Honestly, this is really just my nice way of saying that the next person who tells me to shut it because I haven't done whatever it is that they're doing is going to be on the receiving end of a loud, angry, profanity-filled tirade that will leave you crying like a school kid who just found out that he has to walk around all day in pants he pooped in.
So, even though I've obviously had no real, useful experiences in my life, I am still able to offer helpful and constructive advice/opinions sometimes. Yes, you heard me right. Just because I haven't done X, Y, or Z does not mean I'm fucking useless.
For example...
When I was in law school, I had a roommate who insisted that it was necessary to lie to your boyfriend to get him to understand the situation. NECESSARY, she said. I looked at her like she'd lost her mind and then asked something along the lines of, "Wouldn't it be better just to tell him how you really feel?" The way she looked at me you'd think I'd grown a second head. Rather than explain to me what the fuck she meant by that and how lying could ever HELP a situation, she looked me straight in the eye and said, "You'd understand if you'd been in a long-term relationship." I said, "If lying is what it takes to have a successful long-term relationship, I think I'll pass," and I walked away.
Now, at the time it was true that I'd never been in a long-term relationship, but I don't think I've ever been in a situation where lying to someone you really care about actually SOLVED anything. We're pretty well-resolved AGAINST lying in fact. Most of the time we run with the idea that truth and honesty serve as the basis for a successful relationship. Since that time, I have been in a long-term relationship and I can say this, lying did NOT help that situation. Shockingly, it made things much worse.
Another example? Don't mind if I do...
I have a very good friend to whom I turn regularly for advice. I may occasionally be prone to emotional fits and outbursts and I call him when I need to get my head screwed back on the right way. I have an immense amount of respect for his ability to step back from a situation, process it while detached, and come back with a solid conclusion. Apparently not all of his friends have the same idea about him...
A good friend of his was involved in a relationship that was a good time, but the durability of the relationship was a touch questionable. All of a sudden, the guy decides to move in with his girlfriend of 2 months or so. My friend was like, "Um, dude, not smart." His friend retorts, "Well, you've never lived with anyone, so you're not exactly qualified to comment on this." (Okay, I'm making that up, but it went something like that.) In an unsurprising turn of events, they ended up breaking up and he moved out a few months later. Didn't see that one coming...
Something not relationship-related? Okay!
I am the second oldest of 12 cousins. I have spent more time than I would like babysitting my evil shit cousins (okay, they were awful as small ones, better now). I've watched them for extended periods, when they were sick and when they were healthy, and at a range of ages. No, I don't know what it's like to go for days on end with very little sleep and then to have to watch the little one as the insanity sets it. But I DO have some experience with kid moodswings, potential causes of illness, etc.
At this point, I'm one of the few people I know who is childless. For some reason I can't seem to get anyone to fertilize my lady garden (perhaps because I say shit like that...). Because of this, I have to watch myself when my friends talk to me about their kids. I have heard, on more than one occasion and from more than one friend, "I HATE it when people try to tell me how to raise my kid. I know better than anyone what's going on with my kid!"
I never try to tell anyone how to raise their kid. All kids are different, every family dynamic is different, and families have different financial means. Sometimes though, I say useful things. Like when my friend's kid was running a low fever and was cranky as all get out and wouldn't eat much. I suggested, as quietly as possible, that the kid might be teething. Sure enough, the little bugger was cutting some teeth. Made my friend feel a lot better that her kid wasn't dying or suffering too immensely.
The Problem?
Part of the problem is that we chuck our good friend Common Sense out the window when we get emotionally wrapped up in something. Moving in with someone after a couple months? NEVER REALLY BRILLIANT. I can't think of a single person I know where that's worked out well. And we know that if we saw someone else doing it, we would be like, "Well, that shit isn't going to work," though we happily traipse down that path. Lying is RARELY a good idea. (Yes, Mom, I did love those pajamas...). Usually you end up having to explain yourself later and you break the trust you've worked so hard to create.
Some of it is that we don't want to admit that we done fucked up real bad. "You can't possibly know what this is like because you haven't done it" is just a defense mechanism. We don't want to be WRONG, to have to admit that we went down the wrong street. The words our friends say find their way to our fear. If we weren't afraid, we'd be able to hear what someone else is saying without flipping our shit over it. We'd thank them for their words and decide whether to act on their advice, comfortable in the choices we made.
The reality of it is that no one can live anyone else's life and we never really know what's going on for someone else. Every person is different - their experiences, intellectual and emotional capabilities, manner of processing things - all of it. If we believed that people could never offer advice because they aren't US, we'd miss out on vast amounts of wisdom from people we respect and who could help us. You never know, that piece of advice could change your world.
Honestly, this is really just my nice way of saying that the next person who tells me to shut it because I haven't done whatever it is that they're doing is going to be on the receiving end of a loud, angry, profanity-filled tirade that will leave you crying like a school kid who just found out that he has to walk around all day in pants he pooped in.
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