Everyone reaches at least one point in life when a big decision must be made. Oddly enough, when I moved to Seattle back in 2005, it wasn't much of a decision. It felt like the right thing to do, so I did it.
Now, six years later, I am so frustrated with my life it's almost been unbearable. The big problem has been that I haven't been able to find a job that will work for my life. The cost of living here is pretty high and from law school and my master's program, I owe an astronomical amount in student loans. The job market here sucks.
For years people have asked me when I'm moving back to Florida, and in response I just repeated my mantra, "I'm not leaving, I love it here." But my financial situation has gotten to the point where I have to consider leaving the state. It's been hard for me to accept, but last week I got there. So when my lease is up in 6-7 months, I expect I'll be moving.
What I find interesting is that once I opened my mind to the possibility of leaving Washington, I realized I wasn't sure I'd stay here even if money weren't an issue. It was a pretty shocking realization. For as right as it felt when I got here, it just doesn't feel that way anymore.
I moved out for the mild weather, some gray skies, and the gorgeous summers. We haven't had a summer in two years. Last winter it snowed so much I couldn't go out. Some of the things I like the most about living here - being able to walk downtown from my apartment - would change with a long-term relationship and kids.
I've had a challenging time making new friends. Many of the people here are so passive-aggressive and full of shit that you can't really get to know anyone. There's even a name for it - The Seattle Freeze. You'll hear, "Oh yea, we should totally get together!" and then you never hear from them. Ugh.
Through the ebb and flow of life, a lot of the people I was very close to have moved to other places, are planning to move other places, have gotten on with their lives and families and our contact is diminished, or we've parted ways because I'm cutting dead weight out of my life. I end up feeling alone a lot.
As any reader of this blog knows, my success with dating out here has been minimal. Its' been great that I was dating, since I didn't do that much before I moved out here, but good grief. I think for as West Coast as I like to believe my approach to life is, my personality is very East Coast. These West Coasters just don't quite know what to do with me. I intimidate the hell out of them :)
So, I think it's time to go find my next adventure. I think this has been coming for a little while, but I've resisted it. You can only resist change and growth for so long before the universe steps in and forces you to accept the challenge. I believe that the challenge will bring me all the things I want for my life - Mr. Lyndsy, mini-Lyndsys, and a challenging and rewarding career.
It's been an interesting, trying, and amazing six years. I feel like I've grown a lot since I moved out here. I think I needed to move out here to do something on my own, make my own decisions without being influenced by my parents and family. I'm a stronger person now than I was when I arrived. More than ever before in my life, I
The only question left to answer - where do I go?
