LeBron, no one cares

Kobe Bryant: Hey, LeBron, it's Kobe. Call me back.

**LeBron James, distracted by something shiny, returns the call 2 days later**

LeBron: Kobe, man, what's up?
Kobe: LeBron, we need to talk.
LeBron: Obvi, why else would you be blowin' up my phone?
Kobe: Seriously, I called you once. Left one message. Didn't even text.
LeBron: Whatevs.
Kobe: Look, I'm here to help you.
LeBron: Help me what? I don't need yo help.
Kobe: Yes, you really do.
LeBron: Man, you're irrelevant now. Why would I need your help.
Kobe: ::silence::
LeBron: Kobe, you there?
Kobe: Yeah. So, here's the thing. No one cares about you anymore. It's all Jeremy Lin and Linsanity. You need to get with it.
LeBron: Naw man. That shit ain't right.
Kobe: Look, I've been through this. I was hot shit forever. And then you came along. You were the little brother I didn't want.
LeBron: Like a brother from another mother?
Kobe: Uh, yeah. Like that.
LeBron: So, now Jeremy's my brother from another mother?
Kobe: Yeah.
LeBron: Aw damn.
Kobe: So stop saying stupid shit, like you'll dunk for a million dollars. Be classy.
LeBron: ::sucks in snot, voice wavering:: Okay man. I feel you.
Kobe: Seriously man, keep it classy.

LeBron James said he'd participate in the dunk contest if there was a $1M purse. Here's my question: Does anyone care if LeBron does it?

First of all, the dunk contest is ridiculous. Earlier today I walked past the TV when they were talking about ridiculous it's become. Back in the day, when people actually played the game, rather than passing the ball high to some guy whose parents obviously overfed him steroids as a kid to dunk it, it WAS something to watch. Now you have to jump over 6 flaming cars, while wearing flame attracting material and singing Lady Gaga's latest song in French for anyone to care.

Second, I don't pay much attention to basketball (since it's all about big players and dunking, with no basketball SKILL), but I have heard ALL about Jeremy Lin. HE is the new IT GUY of basketball. Sure, LeBron's all amazing, but so was Kobe Bryant, and who's talking about Kobe these days? Granted, Kobe had that nasty little "alleged" rape situation and it didn't help his popularity, but he's still playing and he's still good.

Third, what's with demanding a big ole heap of cash? I seriously doubt that LeBron needs a solid gold Humvee or diamond-studded swimming pool (thank you, Weird Al). What's $1M to him? Maybe he's got a crazy hookers and blow habit we don't know about. Maybe it's his collection of women's lingerie. I don't know, but I seriously doubt $1M is a big deal to him.

It's just gross. The whole thing is just for publicity and money. Not everything an athlete does should or needs to have some crazy high price tag on it.

Will someone PLEASE send LeBron a memo to tell him to get over himself?